A Day on Mount Olympus
by Fogish
Summary: How would musses and goddesses like Aphrodite, Hera and Artemis act in the modern world?


**A Day on Mount Olympus**

  


As every morning Eos woke the world with her light touch of dawn. Selene and Helios traded positions in the sky, trading the silvery light of the moon with the bright gold of the sun. High in the heavens the residents of mount Olympus slowly prepared for another day. 

Aphrodite rose from her big bed and sighed as she left the warmth and comfort of the great pillows and thick blankets. On the way to her traditional bubble bath she stopped by the mirror and examined her perfect shape. As every day in her eternal life she frowned slightly and turned sideways. "I'm fat!" she exclaimed, "The goddess of beauty must not be fat!" Them she examined her diet schedule. "There! There's the reason!" she pointed to a day "An extra pomegranate seed! How could I?!" Aphrodite turned into the bathroom and slammed the door in her anger.

Hera woke up and turned over in bed reaching her hand to find the other half of the bed cold and her husband Zeus missing once again. She sat up immediately and threw the blankets of the bed in her anger. She put on a robe and rushed down to her control panel grabbing her tiara from the table and almost tripped over her pet peacock that had once again found a way into her bedroom. She put on the earphones and sat in front of her control panel all the while flipping switches that turned on a wide variety of spy equipment. "I'll find him if it's the last thing I do" she muttered under her breath.

The muses were stretched out luxuriously on their beds when a loud ring woke them from their deep slumber. Clio groaned and pulled her pillow over her head. Euterpe reached across the table and picked up her flute before realizing it was not her ringing cell phone. She then picked up her cell phone and answered with a yawn. Then she sat upright as if injected with energy, a huge smile crept across her face. She hung up the phone and jumped out of bed. 

"Wake up girls! The day is dawning!" She cried happily but was only be met by groans. Euterpe had enough, she stood still for a moment with her hands on her hips and then tore the blankets off Urania's bed. Urania leapt up with a surprised shriek. 

"What the _tartarus_ do you think you are doing?" She shriek as she jump out of bed, the look she gave Euterpe was so fierce that Melpomene wondered what would happen if looks could kill. Never the less, Euterpe's smile did not falter even a little bit.

"Chill girl. You will never guess who that was!" she said happily. 

"I bet it was that guy you saw last night…" Erato answered lazily. Some of the muses giggled.

"Don't be ridiculous. I never give my cell phone number to guys I just meet." Euterpe said with a huff. "That was our producer. He's sending the posters for our show over later today!"

This was responded to by a loud hullabaloo with flying feathers as all the nine muses got up and started racing around trying to find their clothes and start getting ready for the day.

~

Later that day Aphrodite lay across the chaise lounge in the main sitting room of Mount Olympus painting her nails in different colors. She lay with her head supported by the hand rest on one side and her feet with the light golden platform sandals hanging over the other side. A small dove sat on the back of the chaise lounge and watched her with interest. Artemis at the table behind her fixing the broken wing of a small bird, her deer lay at the foot of her chair. Aphrodite sighed and examined her nails.

"Artemis, do you want me to do your nails? You would look so good with navy blue and yellow stars." Aphrodite looked over to the other goddess.

"I don't see why you paint your nails. It's such a waste of time in my opinion." Artemis said without looking up. Aphrodite sighed again and started fixing her right thumbnail.

"It looks pretty when it's done right" She answered

"But you're never happy with it. And after a good day's work it gets all chipped anyway"

"That's because you do such damaging work. Look at your skin! I do not see how it is not extremely damaged after all the years you spent in the sun without taking proper care of it."

"Next thing you'll want to give me a makeover."

"A new look would not do you nay harm."

"Thank you" Artemis said plainly.

"Oh I didn't mean it like that, Art, you know that. I'm just saying that you would look so much better if you wore something a little more feminine then sweat pants."

"At least I'm comfortable, and that's more then you can say."

"Beauty is pain."

"I look fine, thank you very much. And I'm comfortable." 

A young nymph walked in with a large tray of ambrosia and offered some to Aphrodite. Aphrodite refused politely explaining that she was on a diet at the moment. 

"A diet? Why you barely need one!" Artemis let the now fully healed bird fly away and accepted a glass of nectar from the shy nymph.

"I do. I've gained a gram. The goddess of beauty cannot afford to be fat." Aphrodite said tragically. Artemis almost choked on her nectar.

"A gram? Dity, I can practically see your ribs! And you think you're fat?" Artemis was laughing so hard she had to hold the table to prevent herself from falling off her chair. Aphrodite was about to answer when Hera came storming in and slammed her earphones on the table.

"I can't find him! And listen to this!" She shoved the earphones at Artemis. Aphrodite sat up and looked at Hera with interest and amusement.

"Is Zeus off again? You really have to calm down Hera dear, he may only be doing this to spite you, you know." Hera frowned.

"I just do not understand the sounds I keep receiving from the microphones I planted on him last night! Artemis you are the huntress. Maybe you can make something of it"

Artemis put the earphones on reluctantly and after listening for a moment, she put then back down on the table trying not to smile.

"All I hear is clicking." She said plainly

"I can hear that too! What's clicking? That's what I want to know!" Hera was snatched the earphones from the table and listened intensely for another second. Artemis smiled.

"Maybe Daddy's typing you a love letter." She suggested slyly. Hera frowned.

"Thank you for the kind reminder of your origin, Artemis." Hera said crossly "I put filters on his computer but I forgot to check if he logged on today!" She ran out of the room and sat down by her computer searching through the history of the use of all the computers on Olympus before she finally located Zeus. With a devious smile, she sent a virus to the computer of the poor girl Zeus fancied. She erased everything from the poor girl's hard drive, and because Hera was a perfectionist she erased every single disk that was in the girl's house. Thus ending Zeus's courting at least for that day.

Artemis turned to look at Aphrodite only to see her eyes twinkle with amusement.

"These are moments that I really do not regret never being married" Artemis said.

"I don't have a problem with marriage." Aphrodite turned to painting her toenails. "My husband is so deformed that if anyone ever wanted to have an affair with him I'd laugh so hard I might even give her some tips as she obviously does not know anything in the ways of love." 

"He really is a good god you know. You're being mean." Aphrodite shrugged. As she looked up she caught sight of the muses.

"What are the muses up to now?" She asked Artemis.

"It looks to me like they are hanging up posters."

"Posters? For what?"

Calliope walked over and handed Aphrodite a poster. Artemis came over and looked at the poster over Aphrodite's shoulder. "You'll come to our concert tonight, won't you?" she asked in her sweet voice. Aphrodite examined the poster for a second and then turned to Calliope.

"Did you change your band name or something?" She asked

"No… Why?" Calliope was slightly confused

"Because I don't see you here anywhere. I see a bunch of other bands-" 

Calliope snatched the poster from Aphrodite and with a cry of rage tore it into two. The other muses looked up at her with questioning eyes. Terpsichore looked at the poster and then looked back up at her sister. Silently she reached into her bag and took out her cell-phone. She dialed the number of their sponsor and after a few moments of heated discussion she threw it on the floor and stomped on it.

"He says we're not modern enough and that we won't sell." She said to her sisters.

"WHAT?" shrieked Melpomene, "We are the Muses!"

"He said that nobody would think that is an interesting name for a band. They would not be interested." Terpsichore said slowly trying to control her anger.

"I'll give him not interesting!" Clio charged forward and had to be restrained by her sisters. "I'll… I'll… I'll turn him into a bat! Make him hear how much we won't sell…"

"I don't think that's punishment enough…" Thalia said deviously.

"And it isn't modern." Polyhymnia added, reading her sister's mind. "He said we weren't modern enough."

"What would you say about debugging Microsoft?" Thalia's sly smile widened 

"I think that may take him about the rest of eternity to do..." Urania snickered.

"Then lets do it!" Clio said and she ran into their room to get things ready.

All the muses left the room whispering softly and trying to think of the best way to carry out their plan. Calliope was last to leave and as she left she repeated to herself in a singsong voice "Someone's got a new job… someone's got a new job…"

"I feel slightly sorry for him" Aphrodite said to Artemis.

"I don't. If it were up to me I would turn him into a deer and have his dogs eat him up… But that's already old." Artemis sat down next to Aphrodite. Aphrodite turned to look at her.

"At least let me do your hair." She changed the subject.

Artemis sighed. "Do whatever you want. But I'm warning you," she pointed at Aphrodite with a stern look on her face, "It will fall apart very quickly. You can't keep a hairdo during hunting season." Aphrodite chuckled.

~

Outside Helios surrendered his watch to Selene. Gaia yawned sleepily as Uranos settled with all the constellations glowing beautiful over his body giving beautiful designs to the sky. Another night had settled on Mount Olympus and on the world.


End file.
